MVW Exclusive Interview with Michael Bay

This week Michael Bay won yet another battle in his never ending quest to piss off nerds by stating that in his live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles re-hash, the Ninja Turtles would be Aliens rather than their far more realistic origin story: Actual turtles who were adopted by a rat and got caught up in “ooze.” No word yet on how Vanilla Ice is taking the story.

While this story hasn’t even cooled off yet, Bay has decided to release plans for his next project, a live action adaptation of 90’s hit cartoon Doug. Bay admitted he wants to take the property into a new direction.

                                               

“The year is 2328, and the world is post Apocalyptic. A young boy and his robot dog have fled to Bluffington after witnessing his parents and hippie beatnik sister murdered by pirates. As he arrives he meets an alien named Skeeter who becomes his best friend. But Bluffington isn’t the safe haven Doug thought it would be. It’s run my Boss Bluff, and his rich family. His evil orders are carried out by KlotzBot 3000. Doug falls in love with a young prostitute named Patty Mayonnaise, who is also…uh…a robot! Yeah! A Robot Alien whose arm is a gun! So with the help of his friends and a wise old inventor named Dink, Doug sets out to save Bluffington, and avenge his family’s murder. And Chalky Studebaker is there too.”

For the sake of journalistic integrity, we asked Mr. Bay if he was making that up as he went along. He told us he had to go, because another dump truck full of Transformers money was being delivered to his house. Fun Fact: Megan Fox was driving the dump truck. We here at MVW Entertainment news aren’t sure how “Doug: Bluffington Falls” will turn out, but it’s safe to say it will be better than “Good Burger.”

Minch