Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Episode 51: Fifty First Episodes

So this is what it's like to be a deadbeat dad of blog. In my defense, I was only gone for four months, and I can explain everything. No really, I will right now. So what do you say, can you forgive me...

Come on Lindsey, come on and forgive me...


Alright! Good Enough!!!

Hey thanks guys, now like a true deadbeat, I promise to take you all out for ice cream! Alright now on with the Blogging!

There's no real playbook for how to deal with life's occasional bad bounces and dipshittery.

(Oh God, this is going to be about the breakup? That was like ten years ago! Better cue up Jumper by Third Eye Blind)

Slow down, first off, that's a great song so feel free to cue it up. Secondly, it's not all about that, need proof?

Shortly after the break up I embarked on "The Mike Minch: Hey Everybody, Sorry I Haven't Around For A While / Yes, I'm Still Alive Tour 2013" Here's a pic from the tour...

 Fun things kind of just flooded the market upon my entrance into single hood: Bachelor Parties, Weddings, hell Topeck and I got lost and almost murdered in Toronto (I'm not legally allowed to tell that story until I know more about statute of limitation on Canadian Laws) Eventually though, the calendar clears out and you are left looking to fill time that otherwise would have been occupied. 
Now there are a world of things you can do in this situation to fill said time. You can start a new hobby, like basket weaving or Crystal Meth. Perhaps take up an old hobby you had lost track of, like binge drinking or Crystal Meth. For me, I delved head first into the Red Sox 2013 season. 
It's no secret that my baseball watching skyrocketed 157% post break up. After watching that many games, I had a feeling this team was special. That's not just hindsight, go check my twitter feed mid summer, (@mrminch) I'd try to get a screen cap of a few of my tweets predicting their success, but my 4 year old cell phone takes a literal shit when I even try to send a text message. And sweet Jesus, when the post season started, the world revolved around those games to a degree that wouldn't have been acceptable had I still been in a relationship. 
All important events within the past month are framed with playoff baseball in the background. My aunt's wedding was during the ALDS against the (God Damned) Rays. The night we went out to O'Cals for my sister's birthday was the night the Sox punched their ticket to the World Series. Yes, through the pushing and shoving of the 804 douchebags shoehorned into the place, we got to watch Shane Victorino's game winning grand slam. The obstruction call World Series game was during a Halloween party. Hey speaking of Halloween, in case you missed it, I had a hell of a costume this year. 


If you don't know who this is, just know I'm ashamed of you, but I'm here to teach. I dressed as Buffalo Sabres hall of fame play by play announcer Rick Jeanneret. 

and if you need an explanation why someone would want to be him for Halloween, I'm double ashamed, but this should help.


Hopefully you have learned something today. Back to baseball.

So obviously, this turned out to be a hell of a year to follow the Red Sox as closely as I did. If you aren't blinded by your hate for the team, the same way I am towards the (God Damned) Tampa Bay Rays, it really is a great baseball story. Worst to first, a team that one year ago was mired in an ocean of doo doo butter, was able to turn it all around. Wait a minute, there's an analogy in there somewhere, if I can just put my finger on it...somehow...make...that...applicable...to everyday life...Wait, I got it!


Well, if I'm going to give credit where credit is due, I should mention my coworker, supervisor, and friend Sean here. With as long as it has been since my last post, I was kind of considering either packing it up or taking this in a different direction. Hell, the original draft of this episode was written a month ago and was basically "Hey, everything sucks, but the Red Sox are good." Naturally, I scrapped it on concerns that it was overly emo and douchey. Sean, decided he was going to pester the shit out me until I wrote a new one, and here we are.  Until next time...


Don't forget to check out Minch's Pop Tarts every month!!!!!

 Spoiler Alert, there will be no ice cream.