Monday, November 19, 2012

Episode 43: And You Smell Like One Too.'s over. It's finally over. Four days, well over 6,000 people, but as I punched out at 7:30 (I was out at 6) last night I could say to myself that I have worked my last Twilight opening weekend. Any type of celebration over this is tempered by the fact that it's only because they aren't making anymore Twilight movies, and not a change in employment. That is until they churn out the remakes, but I think by that point my boss will be a human head on top of a robot.

Did you Twi-hards like the new movie?

--Just kidding, I don't care. Just like you couldn't care less whether or not I liked Moonrise Kingdom, the new Wes Anderson joint (I loved it.) Yeah I know, you haven't heard of it.

Moving on...

"Me Time" The very phrase conjures up images of fabric softener commercials where a housewife can finally get a moment to relax because she used Tide instead Era. A moment she uses to eat ice cream and watch her stories.

(Daytime Television Side Note: Did you know they gave Steve Harvey a Talk Show? Like a Dr. Phil type one, where he's helping people. Hasn't anybody seen "Johnson Family Vacation" He shouldn't be helping anyone...)

Anyways, ever since Event X (see last episode) I've been thinking a lot about the concept of "Me Time." Specifically, taking the little extra money I can save as a result of this, and going somewhere I have never been. I've always been kind of iffy on the concept of traveling alone, then I realized it's ridiculous hang ups like this that have prevented me from doing things. Who gives a shit, really? Also, I'm not going to stay in a hostel, so the likelihood of me being murdered goes down by at least 60%.

My travel ideas have ranged from

Modest: Canadian weekend leading to the Bills/Seahawks game in Toronto

Slightly more ambitious: Going to DC to see the Presidential Inauguration

Ambitious: Going to see my pals who live in Colorado.

Really Ambitious: Europe-specifically London.  

 Also, I've never been to New York City. I catch shit for that one all of the time. Years ago, and I have probably blogged about this before, but I don't have the strength to rifle through old ones to find out, I crafted a list of places I wanted to travel to before I'm thirty. Given that that happens in April, I'm going to get an incomplete on that assignment, though I did knock Chicago off that list. I keep talking about using Event X to better myself and what's better than the life enriching act of travel, and the potential of finally being able to try foie gras.

Finally, it has come to my attention that I've been doing this blog for just about a year. I know this because early on I was talking about "Blackout Wednesday: Occupy Paddys." Now it's that time of the year again. Blackout Wednesday is two days away and I'm not even sure what I'm doing yet! Dammit, I'm off my game. In honor of last year, I resubmit to you the logo Topeck made for BOW: OP 

Anyways, I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to scam earn money and free stuff off my blog. Other people do with their blogs. I bring this up so it doesn't take you all by surprise when I change the blog's name to "Sam Adams Boston Brick Red Ale Presents: Minch vs. the World" As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to share this by discussing it in the chat section of Words with Friends or whatever means are most convenient.

Happy Thanksgiving

Monday, November 12, 2012

Episode 42: Where the hell have you been?

Before addressing the titular question at hand, I would be an absolute jerk (a big handsome jerk) if I didn't begin with a hearty thanks to all the veterans out there. I have many friends who have served (or are serving) as well as an Uncle who was in the Navy. Both of my Grandfathers served, I told a few Grandpa military stories in Episode 20: Inch by Inch We Win With Minch For all of you great folks, I offer this salute.

Okay so I realize it's been a long time since my last blog. Truthfully, I've known what this was going to be about for while, I've just been wrapped up in how I want to address it. You see loyal blog readers, since the last episode, (kind of during the last episode) shit went down. Simply put, the bottom fell out of my living situation and I was forced to move. Don't worry gang, I'm fine and in no foreseeable legal trouble (So the "When Minch Ends Up in Jail Pool" is still very much intact.) This story is not about what happened, as much as it's about what happens next...

So where did you move to?

Dammit, I was hoping you wouldn't ask that. Well, let me begin by telling you about the movie house business. You see, my employment there has done a moderate job of covering the financial bases, even enough to have a little something extra to spend on bourbon and Amerks tickets. Of course, if something shitty pops up (car trouble, parking ticket, birthdays) I find myself on a diet of ramen noodles and frozen pizza. For the past couple of years, I've been walking the fiscal tightrope really well. My car inspection is up in April, when I get my tax money (genius, I know). All things have been in order.

What the movie house doesn't allow its employees to do is save money. So if something MAJOR comes up, like say the previously mentioned "Event X" (oh yeah, I'm going with that as a title) one finds themselves shit outta luck, and without many options. With no extra money saved for a security deposit or enough time to find new digs, I had one option, and I took it. I'm back home.


I understand that first and foremost I should be thankful that I have a place to stay after "Event X" and that 98% of my concerns and reservations about this are purely stigma based. I have been more worried about telling this to you guys than I was about the online dating saga, and you guys know how wacky my hangups were with that!

Sometimes life hands you a sucker punch to nuts, and that's what "Event X" was. Now I have two options: let myself bask in the comforts of Fran's house (reduced bills, hot tub room, pool, cable,) and become dormant and lazy, the stereotypical comic book guy living in basement, to whom the attention of a woman comes at the hefty price of $20 and a two drink minimum. A shell of person whose aspirations to one day share his sense of humor to a larger scale audience were crushed under weight of Law and Order SVU reruns and cans of Chef Boyardee. The ultimate example of wasted potential...

Oh hell no.

I will use this to my advantage. I have both a new found ability to save money, and a new closer proximity to the gym. Also, it's time I address who is really to blame for "Event X" The real villain of this story...

The Movie House.

For the hours I work and effort I put, it's a crime that I wasn't able to up and move to my next location immediately. I want the next place I live to be someplace I can't currently afford, like Rochester's hipster district in the South Wedge. Oh man, I could walk to Lux! It'd be great. There's only one way to do that, find a better job. Also, I'm sick of working on Christmas. If I want to get out of that, I better move my ass. Also, I MUST move out by MinchDay 2013: Taking it Down a Notch because if I'm 30 and still at home, well, I might as well embrace the first option.

But for now, here I am, slowly getting used to the fact that Fran and my sister keep the house 10 degrees colder than Mr. Freezes lair in Batman and Robin.

And while no roommate situation is ever a 100% ideal, I could do without my new roommate pissing and shitting in my room.


So for the time being, this is what "Minch vs the World" is about. It's a comeback story. It's about not just trying to make the best of a bad situation, but making it better than it was before. Perhaps, it's about the long needed wake up call that had to happen in order for me to shake out of my dormant life of unused potential.

...and fart jokes.