It has been forever and a day since my last blog. I mean, I didn't completely leave you guys in the lurch, you did get another edition of Minch's Pop Tarts!!! Did you read that yet? I made fun of Flubber and everything. Anyways, if I may offer an explanation for my extended absence, the inevitable finally happened. I woke up one morning, went to check the internets, and my 2002 Compaq was frozen. While that isn't necessarily new, when I went to reboot it, it still wouldn't work. My 10 year old computer had finally bit the dust. Let's all take a moment...
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| God must have needed a computer that shuts off when you try to load pics for your blog. |
Fortunately for me, Fran just so happened to have a computer lying around, Daisy the Dog was using it as a chew toy. So, I'm back and now using Windows Vista!!!---Nope, not a joke..
Where the hell did summer go? It seems like just yesterday I was day drinking for Memorial Day and now today I'll be day drinking for Labor Day. You see, Fran has the family picnic the day before, so you can spend the holiday hungover. It's a brilliant, yet slightly sad system.
Recently, I was thinking about the direction of my life, (No, I wasn't high) and while I don't really have a lot to complain about ( I mean big picture style, stubbing your toe sucks, but compared to the problems of a 29 year old Sudanese guy, I think I'm doing okay) I also don't have much of a long term plan. So I came up with an idea: Give myself til the ripe old age of 31 and if I'm still in the same(ish) spot that I'm in now, I'll vanish out of Rochester...
Where will you go?
Well Christ, I haven't planned everything out yet. Maybe Hawaii. I could bar tend at a dive bar. Like a "All our beer comes in cans and all our wine comes in boxes" type of joint. A place that still has that old Budweiser Bartender video game. The type of place where they have a grill, but you're not going to eat there unless you're really hammered. I could come up with a signature burger, "The Minch" (I'm still drafting out specifics, but bacon and gravy will be involved) It'll become a late night Hawaiian delicacy, and Travel Channel's Adam Richman will show up to try one, turning our dive bar into a tourist destination. Foodies* will travel for miles and miles to try my new genius creation.
*Foodie is a Latin word for "Pain in the ass" Yeah I get it, the sandwich is good, act like a person.
Finally, when the old man owner kicks the bucket, I'll make a power grab, buy off his shitty kids and then own the bar! I'll live out the rest of my days with my hipster Hawaiian wife (Hawaiian Hipsters exist right?) sun burnt and day drunk, or as you people call it "Happily Ever After"
Perfect, now I have a long term plan in place. Now that I have a working computer, I intend on churning out a lot more of these a lot quicker, you know unless I'm doing other stuff. Feel free to share this on any of the major social networking emporiums. I mean you took the time to share that Someecard that said, "My Liver's Watch is stuck on Five O'Clock" why not share something that helps your old pal Minch? Just click the links below buddy or buddy-ette!!!
Thanks as always,
Minch
I think you should come to Baltimore. We have tons of dive bars here, you would still be in driving distance from home, and it's fun times all around. Much more exciting than Rochester, and any time it snows the whole city shuts down and no one goes anywhere.
ReplyDeleteBaltimore already stole my football team. I'll be damned if I'll sit back and let them take Minch. Unless of course he wants to go - then I've got nothing.
DeleteBig question is: what the hell are you actively.doing to affect change? It doesn't magically happen.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted you to know that last night at like 3am, I was captivated by your blog and read back about 5 posts. Kept me very entertained!
ReplyDeleteI do agree that Baltimore is great, but I don't know if you can beat Hawaii. It reminds me of that one Boy Meets World episode where Cory and Topanga go to Hawaii on their honeymoon, and almost end up moving there permanently. If you never watched Boy Meets World, I apologize for that reference.
This is Joy's other daughter (and Alyssa's sister) by the way :)
Well first off Darcy, congrats on the lil guy! I actually spent a large portion of today watching old Boy Meets World episodes so your reference was a strange cosmic coincidence. Well played, and thanks for the kind words!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been to Baltimore very briefly, I watched the Orioles beat the Red Sox, (because I am a cursed sports fan) then went on to Ocean City, where I just as easily could end up...
TV's Matt Hobbs, perhaps it's my inability to institute change on a small scale that makes me want to create change on a grand scale.