Episode 45: Yule Shoot Your Eye Out!

So yeah, a couple of things happened since Episode 44. I'm no fool, I know why you're here, so let's talk about the big news first...

I WENT TO THE BILLS GAME!!!!

It was a cold and gray morning as we loaded up Fran's SUV and headed to scenic Orchard Park NY to watch the Buffalo Bills take on the St. Louis Rams in "The Battle of Flickering Playoff Hopes Bowl." The only slight trouble was that we parked and subsequently tailgated in a swamp. As you can imagine, we set up a pretty fine tailgate for ourselves, burgers, dogs, deer steaks, and beer...plenty of beer. Drink now, because beer becomes $8.50 when you enter Ralph Wilson's house. 

The scene before a Bills game is fascinating. There's a fleeting sense of hope in the air, plenty of breakfast beer, and several pairs of ironically worn Zubaz pants. I would never show up to a sporting event wearing something so ghastly and foolish...

Oh shut up, picture of me taken in Wes Anderson style...

Naturally, upon entering the stadium, it started to rain/hail, painting a lovely and relevant backdrop for the depressing scene that was about to take place. The Bills lost in a heart breaker, and I was left wishing even harder that the NHL lockout would finally end. Like every asshole with a camera phone, I took a picture of the field, but you know what it looks like, so who cares. As it usually does, the parking lot turned into a post apocalyptic wasteland. Open fires, lost children, a dog with one leg, and people realizing the irony is dead and they just look silly in their 90's Bills hat with the Tasmanian Devil on it. (coughMEcough)

Well that's it for this one...Wakka Wakka

Every since the onset of "Event X," I made a vow to "bring this franchise back to its winning ways." I would use the shake up of moving back home to shake up more elements in my life to eventually better myself. So when an old friend by the name of Sean Devine came to me and said that Allstate was hiring, I realized there has never been a better time to make a move.  Selling insurance is unlike anything I've done before, but if I didn't believe that I could do it, and do it well, I would have said no thank you.

The whole process, even still, doesn't seem real. I knew I had both Sean and movie house refugee/dear friend John Izzo, who has been with the branch since the first brick was laid, pulling for me with the boss, but at the end of the day, I was the one being interviewed. I was the one who had to knock it out of the park. I present to you a fictional dramatization of how the interview went. 

(There exist better, more important Ortiz homer clips, but this is the only one I could find that was an actual broadcast and not some asshole with a camera phone.) 

So here we are. My last day at the Movie House will be Thursday, December 27th. I can't thank John and Sean enough for their help. I intend on having my exit be subtle, classy, and without much fan fare. Though if someone wants to get me a present, a framed poster of myself in the style of the Obama "Hope" poster would do quite nicely. I have a couple of weeks to figure out a clever new way to describe the new job, because I must admit, I kinda love it when I hear others say, "Movie House." Since it's Allstate, it's important that I include both Pedro Cerrano and Dennis Duffy, my two new bosses...

     

2013 is shaping up to be a great year...

Today is the first of a one-two punch of Minch brand writing material! Tomorrow, (12/19/12) there will be a brand new Christmas themed, "Minch's Pop Tarts" over at Eat Your Serial!!! I mean it's not there right this minute, but go over there now and read some of the other great stuff they have. As always, thanks for reading.

Minch