Episode 17: The Mile High Miracle

Hey gang, I know it’s been awhile, but allow me to offer a tepid half hearted excuse: I have made my glorious return to the gym! Once again my plan of waiting a few weeks for the resolution crowd the leave has worked. Actually, that is kinda sad if you think about for too long, but let’s concentrate on the positives. Going to the gym has cut into my TV/Nap/Blogging time, so I am trying to get on a balanced schedule.

As most of you know, the Minch Vs The World Head Quarters is located in Western NY, and today we are experiencing the first actual snow storm we’ve had this winter, I know, we’ve been really lucky. It is serving as an inspiration to be lazy. As I look outside at the blustery snow all I hear is a soothing voice whispering,

“Why go out into this terrible weather? You can stay here, watch TV and play Arkham City.”

My lazy ass subconscious has a point. I’d say the odds of me going are 50/50, 60/40 if my friend TV’s Matt Calvin reads this and calls to rightfully yell at me. Yesterday, a friend/coworker posted that he wishes it would snow. Looking outside, I’m wondering, can you make a reservation for an ambulance? I’m going to hit this individual, likely with one of the metal stanchions. I would like to have the EMT’s there to ensure I don’t commit murder, just assault…

The other day Jeremy, my roommate, called the rent office to inquire about getting Direct TV (If you can’t guess why by now, shame) The response he got was both expected and yet, curious.

“No, and Mike already knows that.”

The hell? I never asked. Unless…no it couldn’t be. Are the powers that be at the apartment complex reading this? Fortunately, if that’s true, I don’t have to back track and check whether or not I’ve been bad mouthing them, I’ve been quite satisfied with my living situation. She suggested we get some cable provider neither of us had ever heard of, “Uncle Jessup’s Good Tyme Cable and Moonshine delivery.” or something like that. So for now, we are still caught in the middle of the MSG/TWC impasse, which I think would be worse if the Sabres weren’t terrible. If you are reading this at the Rent office, maybe we throw a link in the next newsletter. Let the neighbors know!!!

I put out an APB on Facebook the other day looking for someone who is able to draw cartoons. I received a scant few responses, which may have been a result of my offer to pay them in Faygo Root Beer, (1500 Juggalos can’t be wrong.) So here’s what I am looking to do. I still need to make this sucker a little flashier, more provocative, to get the people going!!!! At the very least I’d like to start by putting up a banner, here’s a concept design…

Now imagine if that was designed by someone who can actually draw! If I took the full picture, there is also a poorly drawn globe next to it. I made Canada too thin and gave Florida balls. Also, I would have colored this pic in, but as one would expect from an apt that is inhabited by two guys in their late 20’s we don’t have any crayons. Though there is a coloring book, thanks Kayla. If you have artistic ability, or know someone who does and you’d like to help me out, drop me a line. You can have your work displayed on a blog that is viewed by dozens weekly!!!

How was the Buffalo trip you ask? The parts I remember, were just fine. If I may offer advice you my readers: Nothing good has ever come from doing shots…EVER. The night was going fine, then after taking shots, well, it turned into a whirlwind blackout, where apparently Buffalo Sabre  Patrick Kaleta, and Bills back up QB Tyler Thigpen showed up, not together, and I had a stinger sub from Jim’s Steakout. How was it? Honestly, you tell me!!! Just in case you are skeptical about any of this, here’s my cousin Joe with Mr. Kaleta himself…

Minutes later Kaleta beat the shit out of him.

The rest should be fairly believable. I mean who’s gonna lie about Tyler Thigpen showing up? What could possibly be gained there? In the end, no one drove, or went to jail, my bank account is still intact, so chalk it up to a fun night and a life lesson. Though my brother’s feelings may be irrevocably damaged after some punk kid Winnipeg fan call him an old man. Of course this was a result of Dennis calling him a “Douchebag kid in a jersey.”

There is nothing to me that mobilizes my patriotism than a nationalist hockey dispute with Canadians. Make no mistake, I hate the Boston Bruins, but I would much rather see them with the cup rather than the Damn Canucks. But hey, at least Vancouver handled the loss well…

I promise a quick turn around for the next episode. Oh, and I should probably do something special for episode 20, shouldn’t I? Any who before I go here’s some predictions:

AFC Championship: Patriots vs. Ravens
NFC Championship: Packers vs. Saints

Super Bowl: Madonna’s half time show will be awful. Not “Black Eyed Peas Awful” but hardly football appropriate.

Good Night, and Good Luck
Minch