Episode 19: By the Time the Bar Closes

A very special welcome to all of you who are just joining MVW because of my brand new Facebook fan page! Boy, that was a pain in the ass to set up, mostly because my 2002 computer is wheezing through existence. Go ahead and take a look back at old MVW’s and enjoy their hilarity/fading topical relevance.

Previously on MVW, I mentioned we were heading to the Zone’s Holiday Whatever show at the Armory. I made the crack about being promised that we’d leave before Everlast went on. For those of you who forgot, Everlast farted out a hit 14 years ago, “What It’s Like.” Yes, that was literally 14 years ago, I looked it up!!! That was the headliner?! Anyways, apparently 40% of those in attendance had the same idea, because the moment New Found Glory finished their set, they BOOKED. It was a hysterical mass exodus, and we were right behind them.

Fun Fact: The Main Street Armory’s urinals are all partitioned, and look like confessionals. Also, I didn’t notice anyone getting jacked up by security, but I did see a fella regrouping in the shithouse after getting his face bloodied, and a girl with a broken ankle hobble outside of the Armory…concerts are fun.

Hey, the Oscar nominations came out yesterday. (No, come back, I’m not really going to talk about them.) My interest in the Academy Awards has been on a steady decline, since one pivotal moment, when they screwed Bill Murray out of an Oscar for Lost in Translation. I remember it well, I was at Buffalo Wild Wings, with my arch rival/friend Nick and just like that, my interest in this award took a fatal hit.

Lost in Translation is one of my all time favorite movies, and a banner performance for my favorite actor. Instead it went to Sean Penn, for Mystic River, remember that one? No? That’s my God Damn point. Had it been a few years later, the bartender at BWW could have made a call to have Penn tripped on the way to the podium.

As an employee of the Movie House, I have the ability to watch movies for free. This is a benefit that for the past 4 months or so, I have barely used. When shitheel customers come up and ask me what movies are about, (Which drives me insane. Do some research!) or how a movie is, my canned response, “I actually spend too much time on this end of the theater” Yeah I know, wocka wocka FART NOISE. The last 3 movie films I have watched are 50/50, Muppets, and Sherlock. And the only thing on the horizon I’m looking forward to is Moonrise Kingdom the new Wes Anderson…

(Half the room cheers, the other half throws wadded paper)

…I think I have retired from seeing movies.

Also, Billy God Damn Crystal is hosting the Oscars this year? What year is this? That was the only viable replacement for Eddie Murphy? You could have gone with Charlie Murphy and no one would have noticed!!! Why not have Billy Crystal and Robin Williams do it together, and make it a nice Father’s Day reunion?

Here’s a list of better potential hosts:
Steve Carell
Seth McFarlane
Todd McFarlane
Zooey Deschanel
Rex Ryan
Minch and Topeck
Christopher Walken

But no, we get the star of My Giant, no that’s too easy, everyone will say that one. We get the star of City Slickers 2, no again. I already said Father’s Day. See my point! He puts out a lot of shit, at least he did in the mid to late 90s!

Since I have been blowing up Twitter @mrminch with my thoughts on Tim Thomas, I will sum up my opinion in one line.

Yes, as an American you have every right to make that decision, and I have every right to think you are a dick for making it.

(Also, screw the damn Bruins)

That’s all for this one. Feel free to be a gem and click the little F below thus sharing this with your Facebook pals. Here’s a new line for you to put in the text box:

This is Minch’s Blog. It’s funny, and if you don’t read it, we are no longer friends.

Thanks,
Minch