I don’t like to force these out. I would rather have almost a week between posts (where people can go back and enjoy the classic MVW’s) then fart out something that isn’t quite as good…like the Tron movies. I knew I was going to write something today, and I had a few ideas, but no real spark, nothing I felt passionate about. Then I went to Subway for dinner…
Let’s all begin with the fact that it’s my fault for getting Subway, and all of this could be prevented by going to a place that sells actual food, like DiBella’s or Wegman’s, both of which I readily prefer. When you are limited to 35 minute breaks, and a food court whose only comparatively healthy choice is Subway (all my paleo diet friends just rolled their eyes) your options are limited.
The Subway in Greece Ridge Mall has always had quirks that until now, I found tolerable. They never accept coupons, and a few months ago when Subway was doing its “Customer Appreciation” promotion where $2 got you a 6 inch meatball or cold cut combo, they chose not to participate. Ok whatever, the cold cut combo has bologna, and I’ll be damned if I’m eating Subway brand bologna, or any bologna for that matter. Past the age of 10 you should no longer be eating that shit, it’s made from tires. While it didn’t matter to me, the idea of not doing a customer appreciation promotion, is pretty blatantly saying to your customers, “Screw you losers.”
Ok, so this month marks FebruANY, whose name is so douchily bad it sends chills down my spine. Any of their footlong subs for $5. Low and God Damn behold, as I walk by Subway yesterday I see a very fancy sign (a black and white word document) that says *essentially* “Hey, you guys can go piss up a rope, because you ain’t getting your $5 subs here.” Of course, that Subway isn’t participating. They did during ANYtober, (I honestly feel ill typing those names, the marketing geniuses at Subway should be jailed.)
Here’s the thing about Subways, they are individually owned and operated, and the one is the mall is cleared owned and operated by a stingy, tightwad, asshole. It’s not a matter of them desperately trying to save money, as that location gets a lot traffic. It’s a matter of a cheap prick giving the finger to customers who just want to spend less on their overly bready, under-meated, sub with questionably sanitary vegetables.
Well NO MORE! I officially announce the first Minch Vs The World BOYCOTT! Greece Ridge Mall Subway, welcome to my shit list. Guess I’ll just have to go to one of the other 18 locations on the same street. You are welcome to join in, but if you do, make sure you do the following: Stop in front of it, stare till someone there notices you, turn up your nose, give out a “hmmpf,” and stride away like a gentleman or lady. Take that Subway…dicks!
Hey the Super Bowl is this Sunday! My brother and sister-in-law are having their annual party, which is essentially and all day beerfest. Last year, to make sure I was awake and alert for the game, I had a Four Loko at kickoff. It was a REAL Four Loko that I had been saving for just such a special occasion.
One of my favorite things to do around this time, is pay attention to how advertisers try to dance around saying Super Bowl. As you may know, if you say Super Bowl in a commercial without paying the proper protection money, Rodger Goodell shows up at your house with a blackjack, and breaks your kneecap, then he sues you. Most ads just refer to “The Big Game,” but then how do I know they aren’t talking about the Sabres Islanders game on Saturday? Some opt for the far wordier, “Football National Championship Party” --yes, I’ve actually heard that. Wegman's used that one. To me that’s a worse sin that covering Adele’s husky Cosmo cover or firing the guy from The Shadow. Try and listen for the next couple of days, see if you get what I mean with this…
As for the game itself, I am optimistic it’s going to be a good one. Two great teams, although to me it’s kinda Alien vs. Predator “Whoever wins, we lose.” By the way, Tom Brady, I know how you like to read my blog, so I’ll ask you directly. Do you really have to go around thwacking Buffalo’s nuts on media day? Of course the hotels aren’t nice, that’s why they are surrounded by bars!!! The hotel is just a place to keep your shit, in your case Man Uggs and skin cream, while you go out and get hammered. You should have swung by Jim’s Steakout and had Stinger sub, that would have changed your tune. I had one once, and was told I enjoyed it.
I’m told Kelly Clarkson will be at the Super Bowl this year. I know, we all just made the same joke…
Two of my friends, Maslyn and Spex made a video cashing in on the Shit people say craze. I have been dodging those videos like the draft, but this one is very well done and hilarious. Give it a look, and marvel at the quirks of “The Center City.”
Shit Rochestarians Say
That’s our show for today. I’m sure I’ll have a quick turnaround since SportsScape’s Dave Rector and I are heading to Buffalo on Wednesday to watch Sabres vs. Bruins. It’s on NBC Sports, so between all of the Bruins and Pierre McGuire I will be in a building with several people I dislike. Most importantly, I am going to fight to get a “Yes We Can” chant going when someone score on Tim Thomas. If Tukka Rask is in net, then well I guess I’ll just shit in my hat…
Thanks for reading, be a gem and share this with your buddies.
Minch
PS 2/4/12 --Well holy shit. Maslyn and Spex saw fit to link me with their wildly popular video and this thing has exploded. If I knew you were all coming, I would have written about something more pertinent than how terrible Subway is. If you liked this, go ahead and take a look at past episodes, and LIKE Minch vs the World on Facebook.
Minch vs The World on Facebook
Thanks Maz and Spex...
No comments:
Post a Comment