Episode 13: So This is Christmas…

Well if anything was to put a kringle in my otherwise fast paced and productive Christmas shopping it would be the damn movie house. Last month, corporate or Movie House Inc. (MHI) for purposes of this blog, dated our checks for the day before Thanksgiving rather than the usual payday, which would have been Black Friday. That means I got paid on Blackout Wednesday, which is counter productive… Any who, I was hoping against hope that this week’s checks would be the same deal. In all fairness, I could have emailed MHI’s payroll guy, but in my defense that guy is kind of a jerk. I met him briefly on my trip to the home office, and I would say he has a Napoleon complex, but somewhere in Hell, Napoleon is screaming, “Sacre Bleu!!! How dare you compare me to him. He is le douche!” Then muttered something about Pepe LePew.

So yesterday I waited around the movie house during my time off, like Clark Griswold waiting for his holiday bonus, only to find out the damn thing is dated for 12-23-11. Son of a hot God Damn!!! How do you see fit to bump up payday for Black Friday, but not the day before Christmas eve? I don’t get you movie house, I just don’t get you. It’s not the end of the world (that’s next year) I will just have to so some crazy ass running around the next couple of days to secure my final Christmas present, hopefully with Chuck Berry’s “Run Run Rudolph” in the background.

I cannot for the life of me find those monk salt and pepper shakers. Granted I haven’t asked anyone if they have seen them, but I assume they have sprung to life and begun feasting on small animals in preparation for their blood harvest. It’s a shame, I really wanted to show them to you guys, here’s a drawing of them…




So my New Year’s Eve plans are set! I am going to Sabres game. It’s their “Tux and Pucks” event and I can rent a tux for $20.12 for the evening. And you bet your biscuits (and your ass) that I will be doing that. I am leaning heavily toward wearing my Royal Order of the Water Buffalo hat as well that evening (look out ladies!) I’m wearing it in my profile pic, if you haven’t seen it somehow.
“But Mike, aren’t you pissed at the Sabres, on the count of them playing like a leaky bag of horse shit?”
Excellent question, yes I am annoyed at them at the moment, but they are my team. Of all the teams I support, the Sabres are my #1. They were my father’s team before me, and my grandfather’s team before him (well around the same time, 1970) I very much hope they find a way out of this current slump, hell they did it last year.

Hey here’s a fun thing, I’m sure most of you have already seen this, but maybe some of you haven’t. Here is my brief brush with ESPN stardom.AWESOMENESS!!! Go ahead take a look, scroll down and …….there you go!!! I am awesome. That pic was taken at the Party in the Plaza at the then HSBC Arena during the first home playoff game for Buffalo. How can I abandon them? I’m the Governor of the fans.

This will likely be my last blog before Christmas hits, so I want to wish you all a very wonderful holiday season. Whatever you celebrate, I hope it’s a great time. Oh and if you come see me at the movie house on Christmas Day, don’t indignantly say Merry Christmas to me, like you are a General in the War on Christmas. It’s not really a thing, and do you know how I know that? Because Glenn Beck said it was a thing.

Finally, I would like to make one teensy little Christmas request of you. If this blog has made you laugh even once, accidentally, scroll down and click on the little Facebook icon. Share this link with your pals so by this time next year, I will be having my servant write this while I sleep on a pile of money in my mansion. Just kidding, but seriously you helping me spread the word about this is all I want for Christmas…well that and an iPad.

Happy Holidays,
Minch