A small chunk of my Facebook friends have posted the following video. It features frequent MVW reference Zooey Deschanel and 50/50’s Joseph Gordon Levitt singing, “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” Let’s have a look…
My first reaction to this (no, not enraged with jealousy) is, “Really God? You made him able to sing too?” I get the ability to be a wise ass, and the gene for baldness, and you give JGL good looks, acting ability, and a singing voice?! No, don’t You bring up karaoke. You know that doesn’t count. God’s uneven distribution of gifts aside, I do love that song, and they do a great job with it…dammit.
Moving on, as I look back on 2011, I feel like I only earned a B this year. Sure there was some cool stuff (Weddings, vacations, sporting events) but not much in the life changing department. I am in essentially the same exact spot I was in this time last year. Maybe the answer is to do something crazy: Move to Ireland and work in a brewery, Get a Face Tat, Rob a bank. I don’t know, something to get some excitement, and most importantly, forward progress.
Much like most of you I have resolutions for this year. One of which is to read more. I have about 4 unfinished books that I half read then moved on to the next:
Yes Man: The book the movie is based on, no not the junior novel.
Walt Disney’s biography: It’s published by Disney Books so the anti Semitic stuff is likely edited out.
Kitchen Confidential: I have been borrowing this from my friend Kayla for about a year. I think she forgot.
Moneyball: Started reading this during Jury Duty, and never picked it up again.
…and I have two more books that I bought on line for Christmas on the way. It seems like whenever I decide to read, I get caught up in other things instead, like napping or TV.
The next resolution is hacky. I, like everyone else, resolve to not be a fat shit next year. There is a back story here…
In January 2008, I went with my brother, my sister-in-law (to be), and roommate, to Disney world. I started getting a bitch of a cold while I was there, but fought it off so I could enjoy the happiest place on Earth. Upon return, my body was like, “Ok that’s it asshole, you’re officially sick. Act like it!” Fearing it was Bronchitis, I went to an urgent care facility, where I found out not only did I not have Bronchitis but I DID have crazy high blood pressure do you my husky stature. By husky stature I mean being 316 lbs. I like to think I wore it well. So I decided from that point I was going to adhere to a strict diet and go to the gym I had been paying for, yet not going to. Long story short, with a little hard work and determination, I lost 135 from the end of January to August. To celebrate that my old buddy Topeck made this…
Yeah, both of those guys are me, and yet neither of those guys are me. I’m somewhere in the middle now. It’s easy to sit back on your own accomplishments, “Champ Fat” is the term I think of. Which in this instance is actual fat. So I resolve to recreate what I did in ‘08 and re-lose what I put back on. I want to regain my stealth power, by that I mean there were times at my thinnest that I would see someone I knew, and didn’t want to talk to and I knew I could get away with not talking to them, because the had never seen me thin! Brilliant, right?!
A good friend of mine from Brockport, who I will give the option of revealing himself, but for now let’s call him “TV’s Matt Calvin” gave me a call recently to sell me on CrossFit and the Paleo, which I am going to look in to, even though they scare me. For the most part, I will likely use the same method to Recreate 08. I will keep you guys in the loop on this.
Ok, so before I go, here is a public service for all of you going out to parties tonight. First don’t be a shit head and drive drunk, but second I have prepared a toast for you to say at midnight for whatever party you are at. The hardest part is going to be getting everyone’s attention, but once you do that, here goes:
2011 can go piss off, and now that 2012 is here, let’s punch it in the gut and kiss it on the lips, and show that bastard who’s boss. Happy New Year!!! Let’s all go read Minch’s blog.
You’re welcome. Here’s wishing all of you a Happy, Safe, and Healthy New Year. A special thank you to my followers, or “Minch’s Smary Army” As always, comments and links are greatly appreciated. Hey, what do you say we kick the shit out of 2012?
Minch
Omg, that picture is crazy! I could see how you could get away with not talking to jerks you hate. I could never do Paleo, I love bread and cookies too much, but if it works for you, more power to you. I was supposed to stay at a friend's house tonight, but now it looks like the worst has happened - I'll have to drive sober, because I think my bronchitis will force me not to drink. Oh, the humanity. I vote Face Tat for your big 2012 change. No doubt.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best on your weight loss journey, I will be working hard with my lady to start eating healthier and living a more active life style. Your a good motivational speaker, if only you were paid. Wait theres your Idea!
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